Introduction to my personal situation.

I grew up always knowing what I wanted in my life. I wanted to be happy, and way I was going to accomplish that was through a family. I wanted a husband and kids galore, and I wanted them in that order. (husband then kids, that's the way it should be right?) I met a man that I thought was my future. We moved in together after a few months of dating, and we were engaged after seven months. The following month we got pregnant. I lost the baby at seven weeks. My fiancé was devastated. (so was I of course) He changed after the miscarriage. He seemed depressed all the time. He was drinking more heavily and staying away from home more often. We decided to separate about nine months down the road. He had been experimenting in a world that I did not agree with, and it was his decision to break ties with me. Three months later I finally went to get my stuff from his place. We were holding on to each other and it wasn't fair to either of us. He freaked. He didn't know what to do. I think it was more that he was so used to me being there than still loving me. He called me over to talk , and he began to cry. He apologized for everything and promised it would be different. That night we passionately expressed how we felt, but I wasn't aware of what was going to happen. That night he decided to try and get me pregnant. After we "expressed" ourselves, he tells me I guess you'll get that baby. I freaked. I couldn't believe that he didn't discuss that decision with me. We tried to stay on good terms during the month of waiting to know if I was pregnant, but it became harder each day. The weekend before I found out, I broke up with him. He still hadn't grown up, and he was going further to the dark side of the world. He hadn't gotten a job, he spent all his money on alcohol or other paraphernalia, and he expressed his need to party all of the time. When I found out I was pregnant on a Tuesday, I was scared to do it alone. I told him on Wednesday, and his reaction wasn't pleasant. I was called every name under the sun. He told me he needed a paternity test because he figured there were several possible fathers. I knew there was no other possibility. I had been with this same man for almost two years and only him. I was so hurt so I told him, " I'm due in October. See you then!" I was hurt, and I knew I'd have to do this alone. I'm 23 years old, have a part time job, I'm single, and I just moved back in with my parents. The next 9 months were going to be a hard time for me and my family. (though my family took the news extremely well and were almost more excited then I was at first). So maybe I'm not going in the right order. Maybe it's a little unorthodoxed. I know it'll be hard, but I'm thrilled to have this baby in my life. I can't wait to become a mother.